Sunday, November 1, 2009

Ready for an Answer!

I'm quite nervous and excited about this week. I'm expecting a job offer to move my family back to Utah. This move is a little different than the one that took us from Seattle to Houston and I've really struggled with my emotions because of the stresses involved with work and of being away from home.

Since I've been here the company has made several "organizational changes". Every one of them has affected me though. The day after I got here they let one of the 2 buyers go, so instead of working on managing inventory I had to slide back into a buyer role. That was a totally stressful situation since I was buying commodities that I wasn't familiar with and for a product that I knew nothing about. Not only that but I had been away for my family for only a week, so home sickness and loneliness only compounded my emotional state.

Then just 2 weeks ago they let my 2 bosses go, the purchasing manager and general manager....both of whom had an instrumental role in getting and keeping me here. So now I'm totally alone and confused with only an unhappy controller and a distant wife to confide in.

I've been able to escape into the confines of my brother's house, which is in the middle of the Uintah Mountains at the Flaming Gorge National Park. The drive is not the most scenic, but there is abundant wildlife and abundant time for me to occupy my mind. In driving home today I was surrounded by snow covered peaks, deer, elk, pine trees, hay fields, rivers, streams, historic markers, geological phenomenon and lots of sagebrush. The thought came to me that this was the same area that I grew up in and would love to have my children experience. I think I came to the conclusion that this is where we need to be.

So how do you determine what's best for your family, I ask? Is it fasting and prayer? Is it common sense or familiar surroundings? Or is it both? I know people get their answers in different ways and at different times. For me it seems to come as I immerse myself in daily life and activities.

With Samantha being here with me last weekend I felt impressed that she needs to be close to her sister and that my kids need to be closer to their cousins. I've been telling myself that I want to be closer to family because I feel like we've been left out and/or forgotten and right now this is where most of our family is. It isn't the most convenient place for us, but Texas sure isn't.

Needless to say I'm looking forward to spending time in the Temple this week and to finally bring this soap opera of a "short term, temporary" job assignment to a close. And as I proofread this post I can only wonder if I've already made my choice and if it's the right one.

4 comments:

Melanie and Ernie said...

Well, hopefully you'll be able to find some peace, and it will work out. Good luck and don't let your emotions get the best of you. You're great wherever you are and at whatever you do. Wish we could be closer.

Stephanie said...

The answers will come...they always do! Buy a house with a big basement so we can come visit and all the kids can sleep downstairs!

Ryan said...

Im sure things will work out. Sounds like you have a good idea of what your answer is.. now you just need to confirm it by spending time in the temple. We are excited for you guys and wish we could be closer as well.

Anonymous said...

You are doing all the right things to receive the right answers. They will always come and in different ways. Stay focused on your work, continue to confide in your wife, spend time with family, and be patient. Things will work out in the right way and at the right time. Love you. Mom